Throughout this series, we have learned of many principles of communication that can help us engage in our relationships in a wise and God-honoring way. Today, Dr. Greg Gifford gives his final thoughts on the principle of keeping current before moving on to the principle of attacking the problem, not the person.
Keep Current: Be Timely
One key aspect to keeping current is being timely, knowing not just what to say but when to say it. It takes wisdom and discernment to know the best time to bring something up and discuss it. Alongside timeliness, we also have to ask the question, “Have we even talked at all?” Good communication makes relationships better. Things get worse when communication stops altogether. While we may wait for the right time to bring something up, that does not mean that we stop the line of communication completely.
Attack the Problem, Not the Person
When we get into communication breakdowns, we tend to attack the person rather than the original problem. This creates a secondary issue on top of the original problem that now has to be dealt with. When we attack the person and their character rather than the problem itself, it leaves them with no choice but to defend themselves against our claim.
The speech that we use should be edifying, building the other person up. When we attack them, our speech is corrupt, only tearing down. For example, if someone says something hurtful, we should not immediately jump to let them know that they are an unkind person. Instead, we should focus on what was said and the impact it had. Tearing someone’s character down never contributes to finding a solution to the original problem. However, on the flip side, attacking the problem itself allows us to solve the problem.
This blog post captures the essence of Dr. Greg Gifford’s series on God-honoring communication. You may click on the video above to hear more insightful details about how we can pursue Christ, build relationships, and safeguard against conflict through the skills of communication. Dr. Gifford is the Chair of the Undergraduate School of Biblical Counseling as well as a Biblical Counseling Professor for The Master’s University traditional on-campus program.
